


now I'll be bold as well as strong

by lifeandlies



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Not Hockey Player(s), Alternate Universe - Prison, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 21:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13622322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeandlies/pseuds/lifeandlies
Summary: When Alex was arrested, he figured it was the end of his and Nicky's relationship. But it turns out Nicky is full of surprises.





	now I'll be bold as well as strong

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclaimer: I have not even tried to be accurate. Everything I know about american prisons is from Prison Break and OITNB. Also court cases usually take a long time, right? Well, I've ignored that too. Basically so many details started bugging me, and I decided I couldn't be bothered with research or this would never have been written.
> 
> I wasn't even going to publish this, because it isn't really finished. It was meant to be part of something longer, but I ran out of steam on that idea, and reading through it now I realized it mostly works as a standalone. Not entirely happy with it, but I guess it's kinda cute?
> 
> Title from I will wait by Mumford and Sons, because I have zero imagination.

By now it has been six months since Alex last walked out of his apartment. Six months since he showed up at his office to find armed police waiting to arrest him. That had not been a good day. He had not been granted bail as the judge had ruled the risk of him skipping the country was too high. Which, to be fair, was probably the right decision – he would have been on the first plane to Moscow given half the chance. Or maybe they could have lain low in Sweden if Nicky had agreed to it. Alex sighs to himself. He hasn't been sleeping well. The monotonous existence behind concrete walls is draining in a different way than he expected it to be. Alex is an energetic guy. On the outside, he always had several projects going at once, there were always people to see and places to go and hockey to play. In here they're forced outside in the yard between breakfast and lunch, and if they're lucky there'll be a basketball around. After lunch Alex might go to the library if he can be bothered, but mostly he'll lie in bed and wait for the day to pass. At night he pretends to sleep, unused energy thrumming under the surface as his mind is occupied with waking nightmares of ruining the best thing that's ever happened to him.

 

Alex has stopped listening to the announcements about visitors. At first he'd hoped, however unlikely it might be, that someone would come to see him. But he knows they won't. His associates can't afford to let on there is any connection between them for fear of going down themselves. Alex knows that. He hadn't expected them to show up. He still hoped though, that one person would.

At breakfast on Sunday mornings, a lot of guys are told they have someone waiting in the visitor's room. Alex isn't listening until he's jabbed in the side by a sharp elbow.

 

«What?» he grouses. He's tired and the food is tasteless and the coffee's worse.

 

«You listening?» Zhenya asks. He's always in a good mood on Sundays. Someone always comes to see him.

 

«No?» Alex asks.

 

«You've got a visitor.»

 

«Who?» Alex asks, bewildered.

 

Zhenya rolls his eyes at him. «I don't know. You'll have to go and find out.»

 

 

It's Nicky. Of course it is. Alex can hardly believe his eyes. He'd hoped, of course. But it's been six months without a word. And now he's here, sitting at one of the tables towards the back of the large room, looking as beautiful as ever. Alex would have crossed the distance between them at a run if he hadn't known that was a sure fire way of getting tackled to the ground by prison guards. As it is, he can't stop himself from flinging his arms around Nicky and hugging him so tightly that Nicky is lifted off the ground. When he feels Nicky hug back just as tightly, something inside Alex settles which has been loose for a long time. But he knows better than that it means forgiveness just yet.

 

They eventually let go of each other, albeit only after prodding from the guard, and sit down on opposite sides of the small table. Alex has a million things he wants to say, _sorry_ being the first, but for once he thinks the right thing to do is to wait for Nicky to talk.

 

«You told me you were an accountant,» Nicky says, after a long and agonizing silence. His eyes are fixed on Alex's chest rather than his face.

 

«Well, technically that's the truth,» Alex says.

 

«You said you worked for a shipping company.»

 

« _Well_...» Alex draws the word out.

 

Nicky sighs. «The fucking mob is not a shipping company, _Sasha_.»

 

Alex wouldn't exactly label the people he worked for as mobsters, but he's going to let that one slide for now. «I dealt with shipping,» he explains. «Import, export. It just wasn't done to the correct legal specifications.”

 

Nicky snorts, pointedly looking around the room. “Obviously.”

 

“I got five years for it,” Alex says. “It could easily have been more. A lot more. But some key evidence was never found by police.”

 

Nicky finally meets his eyes. “Really,” he says, eyebrows raised in mock surprise.

 

“Like my laptop,” Alex continues. “Several folders of documents from the safe in my apartment.” He waits for Nicky to respond, but gets nothing. “Nicky.”

 

Nicky shrugs. “I left the moment I heard you'd been arrested. Maybe some of your stuff got mixed up with mine.”

 

Alex can't stop himself from grinning at him. “You know that is criminal offense. Obstructing justice.”

 

“If that's what happened, sure,” Nicky says. He's smirking slightly, now. God, Alex loves him. Nicky breathes heavily, and his expression turns serious again. “What would they have found, Alex?”

 

“Details,” Alex says, shrugging. “Stuff they already knew or suspected but couldn't prove.”

 

“About what you were smuggling?”

 

“What, and how much.”

 

Nicky doesn't respond for a while. His gaze is lowered, and he's picking at the hem of his shirt. “I'm sorry it took me so long to come here,” he says eventually.

 

“Nicky...”

 

“No, just listen. I didn't know how to feel about any of it. I was so angry at you that I almost gave them everything, but I... I couldn't do that to you. Even after finding out you'd lied about so much. You know they brought me in for questioning?” Alex did know. They'd told him, tried to use it against him. But he'd known – however much they said Nicky hated him now, he knew the only possible reason for the lack of evidence was Nicky covering up for him. It had given him just a tiny bit of hope that maybe...

“I told them I didn't know anything,” Nicky continues. “Which is true. I never looked at any of it, I just got rid of it.” He sighs. “Would I be here now if I'd read it? Could I forgive you for it?”

 

“I don't know,” Alex says. He doesn't think of himself as a bad person. But he knows he's sometimes stretched the moral gray area, and he doesn't know quite how far Nicky's forgiveness goes.

 

“What did you import?” Nicky asks.

 

“Anything from motor parts to fine wines. Sometimes items are illegal, sometimes we just cheaper than import tax.”

 

“Drugs?” Nicky asks.

 

“Prescription drugs for black market, yes.”

 

“That ruins people's lives, you know,” Nicky says.

 

Alex shrugs. “Saves some too. Sometimes medicine too expensive in this country.”

 

Nicky purses his lips, but doesn't argue. “People?” he asks hesitantly. Alex knows what he's asking, and he can definitely answer it truthfully.

 

“No trafficking,” he promises, and he sees some of the tension drain out of Nicky's shoulders. “Sometimes help people get into the country if they couldn't get visa, things like that.”

 

Nicky nods. “Okay,” he says. “I mean, I didn't actually think so, but... I thought I knew everything about you.”

 

“You _do_ ,” Alex insists. “Is just... stupid details. Everything with us, it was _real_ , Nicky. You know me.”

 

“Okay. Good.” He smiles slightly. Alex's heart aches.

 

“I'm sorry.”

 

Nicky looks up. “For what, exactly?”

 

“All of it. But mostly for lying to you. For putting you through all of it.”

 

“Okay,” Nicky says. “Thank you.”

 

_All or nothing now_ , Alex thinks, and continues. “I love you. I loved you from the moment I met you. None of that was ever a lie.”

 

“I know,” Nicky says, his eyes starting to look a little wet. “I never doubted that, Alex. I promise.” He visibly pulls himself together, and it makes Alex smile. Nicky's not the type to show too much feeling even in private, and definitely not in public. “I'll wait for you, if you want me to,” Nicky says.

 

“Wait for me where?” Alex asks, not following the turn of the conversation.

 

Nicky rolls his eyes. “For when you get out, Alex.”

 

Alex still isn't sure he's following. “You mean you'll...” It sounds too good to be true.

 

“I mean I want us to be together. Because even though you're an idiot and you annoy me to death sometimes, I still love you more than I've ever loved anyone.”

 

“ _Nicky_ ,” Alex says, overcome with emotion.

 

“Think you'll still want me in five years?” Nicky asks, smiling softly. It's the quintessential Nicky look, and Alex has missed it more than anything.

 

“Of course,” Alex says. “But five years is a long time, Nicky. I don't want you to put your life on hold for me.”

 

Nicky shakes his head. “I'm not doing that. I still have my job, my friends. I'm still living. There's just no one I'd rather have than you. I've spent six months determined to be done with you, and all I've learned is that I never will be.”

 

“I'll be an old man by then,” is all Alex can think to say. Nicky actually laughs. It's the best sound Alex has ever heard.

 

“No you won't,” Nicky says. “36 is no age.”

 

“I'm already going gray though,” Alex persists, but Nicky just smiles.

 

“You know I like it.”

 

“Yes,” Alex says, fondly remembering that particular conversation. “I do.”

 

Nicky reaches over and takes Alex's hand, and they stare at each other in a way Alex is sure would make him gag if it were anybody else.

 

“Five years is nothing,” Nicky says.

 

“Might be less with good behavior,” Alex says.

 

“You better be on your best goddamn behavior then, Alex,” Nicky says. “Five years might not be long, but you know I won't wait a second longer.”

 

Alex can tell he's joking, but he still tightens his grip on Nicky's hand. “Three years,” he says. “Maybe I get parole then.”

 

Nicky smiles. “Three years. Every second will be worth it when I get you back.”

 

Alex nods in agreement. Maybe he'll survive this place after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [Tumblr](http://bittelitt.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
